Tomorrow, we yardsale

Tomorrow, we yardsale.

While we essentially yardsale weekly, tomorrow will be a very special, multi-generational yardsale experience. My grandma, my mom, myself, and my 2-year-old will pile in the truck with a carafe of coffee and three mugs, a couple bucks, and just in case, a tablet filled with the Wiggles and Mickey Mouse videos. We have high expectations of this weeks yarsaling ventures… so it only seems appropriate to take this opportunity to drop some knowledge on hosting the perfect yardsale.

There are undoubtedly three unfortunate scenarios we will confront tomorrow. 1) A sign for a yardsale we never actually find. 2) A yardsale we just drive right by because...it sucks. 3) Someone who’s emotional attachment to a piece is far more valuable than its monetary worth.

Let’s begin with signage, because seriously… this is fundamental!

I am fortunate enough to live in a suburban but bustling community where we simply set out on a few main roads and instantly see signs for yardsales with several extremes. For instance, we often see signs that state the street address, zip code, items for sale, operational hours, rain date, phone number, and mother’s maiden name however without pulling out our Google Maps...we have no idea where said yarsale actually is, and with so many other signs to follow it becomes neglected. The other extreme is a classic “YARD SALE!” sign at the intersection of 14 streets. Ok, Cool.

Solution: Arrows.

Seriously. A few well placed arrows that say Yard Sale can be everything. With clever placement and consistency, people like us will follow the yellow brick road right up your driveway.

Now after all the effort that we put into finding a yardsale, why would we drive by it?

If you’re offering furniture, put it out! Large and interesting pieces grab attention. Even people who are looking for the toys and kids clothes are often looking for larger pieces like kid’s furniture. If they’re next to your garage behind your uncle’s collection of velvet elvis’s… we aren’t stopping. And, truthfully, nobody wants three racks of adult clothing from 1989… just donate it and save everyone’s time. We won’t stop if you only have clothes.

Lastly, don’t put something out to sell that you care about. Seriously, you put so much effort into dragging everything out of your house… do you really want to drag it back in? No. You don’t. So let us buy it. Also, we don’t care how much you paid for it. If it was worth that amount would it be sitting on a busted card table in your garage for the past 8 years? No. It wouldn’t.

So tomorrow we yardsale and as always we will have the highest expectations of our community’s trash to turn to treasure. We will certainly come across our fair share of cassette tapes*, Christmas decorations that are in every grandma’s home, random things we’ll never understand why anybody produced or purchased, and an ungodly amount of women’s shoes. I’m starting to think we should start a Yard Sale Bingo!

*True story, I once heard an older gentleman at a yardsale ask someone if they had any more cassette tapes they were willing to sell, since they worked in his car. It’s 2015. According to Wikipedia, nobody has wanted cassette tapes for 15 years. Don’t expect this response to cassette tapes. This man was clearly having a very lucky day.